Disclaimer: The Magnificent Seven belong to Mirsch, Trilogy, etc. The Smurfs belong to someone else.
Author’s Note: Another insta-fic. Just add reader and voila! Ok… so I’ve willfully misinterpreted the statement that started this fic, but I’ve been doing that since the Smurfs originally came out.
Rating: FRC - Fan Rated Suitable For Children
Universe: ATF AU

The Downsizing Of Smurfs
By MMW

JD lay listlessly in the hospital bed. The drugs coursing through his system had him so muddled he wasn’t sure what day it was let alone have the ability to focus on the Game-boy Buck had brought him.

Glancing across the room, he saw Nathan begin to stir from his unconscious state. He knew Raine had been there most of the night, but she had to go to work. Having no one to talk to or listen to, he flipped on the television, thankful that the hospital had finally gotten cable.

After several minutes he stopped on a cartoon channel suddenly fascinated by the small blue creatures on-screen.

“Always wondered how tall three apples high was,” Nathan mused aloud before coughing. Reaching over for the glass of water by his bed, he took several sips.

Tilting his head to the side, JD pondered the question. “I really suppose it would depend on the year, make and model of the Apple.” He observed, not noticing the odd look Nathan directed his way. “I mean, if we’re talking about an Apple II e, then they would be pretty tall, but if we’re talking about a laptop then they’d be shorter.”

Nathan just stared at JD as if he’d lost his mind.

Oblivious of the reaction he was inspiring in his roommate, JD continued. “And with technology getting smaller all the time, the Smurfs must have shrunk by more than 50 percent since their creation back whenever that was.” The thought of these poor, innocent woodland creatures being shrunk out of existence just didn’t sit well with the young agent. Becoming agitated, he harrumphed his displeasure and continued his rant. “I mean, what did they ever do to deserve being downsized that way. It’s not like they hurt anyone… well, except for that wizard guy, but he deserves it! I mean between trying to eat them and turn them into gold, he’s just asking for it…”

Nathan settled back on his pillows, eyes wide as he watched the youngest member of the team continue to expound upon the unjust treatment of Smurfs. As the diatribe continued, he could only be thankful that whatever they’d given JD wasn’t what they’d given him. Eventually JD began running down and once more dropped off to sleep.

Moments later Buck stepped into the room and greeted Nathan. “Hey, Nate! Kid still sleeping?”

Nathan just nodded his head. “Seems he had an exhausting afternoon,” he said with a smile.

Buck raised his eyebrows, “How so?”

Smiling cryptically as he felt sleep tugging at him, Nathan responded, “Just don’t ask him about the downsizing of Smurfs.”

The End

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